The Table of Contents

           If You See Kay     3

           Introduction     7

Part One: You Must Be Born Again

1. Gripping the Racket     13

2. Original Sin     17

3. The Omnipotent Infant     23

4. Saved from the BS by the SOB     27

5. You Can’t Take the Infant Out of the Adult     31

6. Eating from the Tree of Knowledge Is not Sin     35

7. Adultery Is More Fun Than Infancy     45

           What Mary Said     57

Part Two: The World Turned Upside Down

8. Splitting Hairs and Popsicle Sticks and Cholera     63

9. There Is No Such Thing as Bad     67

10. Anger Never Hurt Anyone     75

11. Shame on You for Feeling Guilty!     87

12. Fear Is About It – Anxiety Is About You     99

13. Sadness Is About It – Depression Is About You     111

14. Pride Is as Execrable as Shame     123

15. Self-Esteem Is Gas     127

16. Good Is the Worst Thing     131

17. It’s Not Time That Heals     135

18. Selfishness Is Ubiquitous     143

19. No One Deserves Anything     147

20. Mistakes Don’t Happen     155

21. One Is Never Helpless     163

22. There Are No Bad Thoughts     169

23. Lies Are Amoral – A Commitment Is Not a Decision     173

24. Dependency Depends on What?     181

25. Keeping a Promise Is Irresponsible     189

26. Obedience Is the Last Thing I Want from My Children     193

27. Prostitutes Are More Trustworthy Than Clergymen     197

28. Religion Is Like Circumcision     199

29. Sport Fucking Is Safer Than Making Love     203

30. Never Forgive – Never Forget     207

31. Apologize a Lot, but Never Mean It     211

32. You Aren’t Grown Up until You Die     215

33. Shakespeare Was Wrong     217

34. The Golden Rule Versus the Diamond Rule     221

           Lucile’s Gospel     227

Part Three: When You Know the Notes to Sing, You Can Sing Most Anything

35. Love and Marriage     235

36. I Am . . . I Said     247

37. What’ll I Do?     253

38. Children     259

39. What Do the Simple Folk Do?     269

40. 9 to 5     273

41. My Favorite Things     277

42. Get Me to the Church On Time     283

43. Over the Rainbow     287

44. Purpose     293

           Glossary     297